Saturday, January 15, 2011

I haven't disappeared!

Ugh, I really dislike it when I'll be on a blogging streak and then real life happens and I can't get over here to post.

Things are going well--the interview went GREAT, my sewing class started on Monday, work has been OK even with my boss now officially gone. More about these things later. Turtle is well too. He has a new schedule with Saturdays and Sundays off, and his late nights are now Mondays and Wednesdays. We have REAL WEEKENDS TOGETHER NOW!!!

If you saw the news, our area got a few intense snowstorms, so we've been busy with clearing paths, driveways, etc. I like a little snow every now and then. Snow over my knees (and I'm 5'7") NOT SO MUCH.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and at the receptionist's desk, was a dry erase board with "Days 'til Spring" written on it, and then the countdown. I think yesterday's number was 68. Can't come FAST ENOUGH. Especially when our Burpee order came last week, the day after the blizzard. What a tease. All of those packets of seeds, begging to be opened and put into the ground. Not yet, little friends. I can't even SEE the grass, nevermind the ground being frozen solid.

OK time for some errands, then back here for some clean up. We still have our Christmas tree up--it's fake--but it's time for it to come down.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's funny how things work...

I have an interview today. I was contacted yesterday. (Thank God for sick days and the ability to leave messages for your bosses before they are even at their desks...I hate lying, but I have to take care of me.)

Things have moved FAST. I applied for the job just before Christmas and heard back the next day that my application materials would be forwarded on to the hiring manager, which is extremely rare for this place. Then the "company" was closed for a holiday break, so I had to wait to see if I would be contacted. I wasn't holding my breath; this place is notorious for dragging out the hiring process. How do I know? I worked for them before, just in another department. Yes, if I am offered the job and accept, I would be going back to the place I worked at years ago. But this job is a MUCH better fit for me, at least from what it looks like on paper.

Yesterday was the second day that the staff was back from break, and what pops up in my Gmail inbox? An email which included this: "Could you come tomorrow at 1 PM? It's the last spot we have available." I actually thought about it...instead of replying RIGHT BACK with a "YES!! YES PLEASE!!!!" Should I say no? Should I see if I can get another appointment?

No, it was time to say yes and take a chance. Do it. Do it for yourself--you know you've been miserable and unappreciated. Do it for Turtle, who knows you can do so much better. Do it for your future family, in whatever shape and form they come in, because this job pays more, is closer to home and the benefits--oh! I don't want to get ahead of myself...

I used to regret leaving the old job at this same place because of the "perks." All of that vacation time, holiday break, great benefits...but I was unhappy with the workload. I tried to transfer, unsuccessfully, to another department that would be a better fit. What I realized a few months ago is that I would have never gotten where I am today if I hadn't left and tried something else. In regards to this place, people say "No one ever leaves THERE." But had I stayed, I would have been pigeon-holed and probably more miserable than I am now.

I'm just so thankful that I'm getting the chance to interview. When I left this place, about 5 years ago, I thought that I could never go back, that I probably had some black mark on my record. (I left on my own will and on my terms, but there were a few instances where I wasn't a good worker, but never formally documented. Just a bored young girl, fresh out of college who didn't get how the real world worked.) Someone sees something interesting about my resume and wants to know more about me. That's pretty cool, no matter WHAT the end result is. I could end up with an offer and say no. They could go with someone else.

I do have other applications out there, but this is the first I've heard back from any of them. I don't want to be the person who jumps at the first offer, but...again, I'm getting ahead of myself. A few months ago, I started praying for a vocation, in the vein of "if I have to be a working mom, please let me find a job that will allow for me to best take care of my family, as the one I'm currently at does/will not. Just show me the way, a path to that." I'm not saying that this is the path, not yet, but we'll see.

With this awesome development comes a bit of sadness. Turtle still feels like his career is stunted, and it probably is...but it's not his fault. His accident, recuperation time, then a layoff really did put him back and did close the door to a few more physical careers. He feels as if he's less of a man, because he can't "provide" in the way that he wants to, and that I'll really be the breadwinner if I was to get this job (or any new job). I tell him it's ridiculous, that we're in this together, but it's hard to help someone see something when they are upset. It didn't help that a girl at his work gave her notice yesterday after getting a job at a place where he'd like to work, and she has much less direct experience than he does. It was experiences from a past job/career that helped her gain an advantage over other candidates. I don't think he would have applied for that job in the first place, it was more of an admin position, where he's more direct service/management, but I think it was just 2 pieces of job-related news in one day. He knows he's lucky to have a job, but it's not where he wants to be. I just keep praying that he'll be comfortable in his current spot and that something more along the lines of what he wants to do will open up. Because it's hard to have something go right for one partner and not the other.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

From the Mailbag!

Errr, shall I say, comment bag?

Throughout the holidays, I was seriously lacking in replying to my comments. That's bad, especially when I have SO many people who are waiting for my replies.

That's a joke, folks. I only have 5 followers (but who knows how many lurkers!).

Anyway. Some of the comments to my comments might actually "give away" some details about me.

First, The 1000 Minute Challenge, since a few of you asked about that. Results: 700/1000. I have a snowstorm to thank for that! We got DUMPED with feet of snow, after Christmas, which was a good thing for the challenge. Without the blizzard, I might not have even shared the end results. While I didn't make 1000, I am pleased with doing as much as I did!

Second, a special thank you to the Priest's Wife. While I don't know her, and she doesn't know me, she finds the time in her busy life to comment here, on almost every post I write. I guess she'd be my biggest fan then. Thank you for commenting on my posts, as trivial as they might be, and for your encouragement and support! And I don't know why some of your comments appeared on the A/C post instead of where they should have been--that's so strange...

Third, to answer some questions about me, primarily about my health. No, I don't have lupus, thank God, although I do have a positive ANA (you can Google that if you don't know what it means), and my mom did test false positive for lupus when she was younger, so anything's possible. I am not a Type II Diabetic, either, (also thank God), but...I could be someday. I have insulin resistance (IR), which could turn into prediabetes, then Type II. So, I have to be careful. Am I? Not as much as I should be...

I also have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), but no one knows if that is caused by the IR or if it causes the IR. I was always a "bigger" kid, even though I ate a very healthy diet, was breast-fed, did not eat store-bought baby food, etc. Bigger kid turned into bigger adult, and after college, I really put a lot of weight on. It's not easy to lose weight for many people with PCOS, and everyone knows the older you get, the harder it is. To look at me, you probably wouldn't think I'm THAT unhealthy (I'm not like 400 lbs or anything, actually well under 300!), but my doctors think I am. I also have high blood pressure, so between that and my weight, my doctors want me to be much healthier before we think about having kids.

(This is SO weird--as I finished this last paragraph, my endocrinologist called to give me my latest lab results. I almost asked her if her ears were ringing! I was a little scared to see her name come up on my Caller ID especially on a SUNDAY, but she told me that she had some catching up to do...this woman has four children and her husband is a cardiologist. Glucose was 99 and insulin was 14--yup, still IR and teetering on the precipice of prediabetes. Lovely. So, I still need to keep things in check and keep striving towards lower numbers. Vitamin D was 30--she'd like to see it a bit higher, more towards 40, and my liver and kidney functions were good. I had her check the liver and kidneys given that I'm on something for my blood pressure and I don't want to have my organs fail anytime soon.)

I agree with my doctors, about being more healthy before I try to conceive--and also, for a lot of other reasons, we just aren't ready to take on the enormous responsibility of one or more other people. It's not selfish--shouldn't all women try be in the best physical condition before they have a baby, for themselves and their child? It's not for selfish reasons either, like I can't lose my figure, or we need to go on a million vacations first, or advance our careers. I really don't care about my figure (if you saw me, I look like I've already had a few kids) and it's not really about having more fun since we're not crazy partiers and never have been. Our careers...meh, it's important to have a decent income, although people do it on much much less all of the time. It's not so much the "career" aspect as it is the "steady job," since Turtle was laid off less than 6 months after the wedding and it took him over a year to find a new job. A honeymoon baby would have made things very interesting! And where we live, 2 incomes are needed...

Physical health on both our ends is very important, given both of our backgrounds, and along with the physical things, our emotional health needs to be strong, too. That has suffered in the past few years, as life stress in general took its toll. This home was not always a good place to be...but things are getting to where they need to be.

With a lot of prayer and a lot of positivity and putting good ideas into use (hello exercise!), it's my hope that things will improve, physically and mentally, and that whatever will be, will be. I say that last part only because many women with PCOS have fertility problems, and my doctors always say "you won't know til you try" so I honestly have no idea of what might be ahead for, I am over 30 now (not by much, haha), soooo...but I am not worried. There's a plan for me, and for Turtle--with children and with life in general--and whatever happens, happens.

Last, if you're on Twitter, you can follow me there. I'm @JentoInfinity which, yes, gives away my first name. I'm sure many of you had guessed it already ;-) Just a warning: I get a little snarky and sassy on there, mostly because I tend to vent about things that bug me, but I also share links, comment on other tweets, etc.

Happy New Year! I have a feeling that 2011 is going to be a good one for me, and I hope it is for you as well.