And then there were ten...

Sometimes I go to church and want to cry. Yes, cry for my little church. It's a wonderful place, and I feel like it's slowly dying.

Today (August 15th, that is, this post is being written close to the midnight hour) is the Feast of the Dormition, or Assumption, for you Romans. Every holy day, I approach church with a bit of fear and sadness...hoping that I'll be wrong, that there will be more people, and then sadly realizing that I was right. No one comes.

We only had ten people at Divine Liturgy this evening. Yes, ten. 10.

The priest
The boy altar server
Boy's father and one of his sisters
The cantor
90 year old woman who still drives herself, God Bless her
A couple in their 70s
A recently widowed 70 something man

Oh yeah, and me. *waves* Chris was working until 7, which was the exact same time that DL started. There is no way he would make it, but Father excused him on Sunday.

I raced up to the city where our church is after I got out of work at 6. A patron had a question for me as I was trying to leave, so I didn't get into the car until 6:10. I made it to [city] with minutes to spare. I brought flowers from our garden for our Theotokos. No one else did. (Yes, they sat in my car all day. I cracked the windows, made sure they had plenty of water, and parked in the shade. It was a beautiful day and not too hot, which helped. They did well, see?)

I now have a smart phone. With a camera.

I also channeled Priest's Wife--last night, I assembled our dinner in the crock pot, and got that going before I left the house this morning, before 8:30. I cooked extra rice and steamed vegetables last night so that we didn't have to worry about those tonight. Just heat up a plate, and add the crock pot chicken on top.

I didn't get home until well after 9 pm, thanks to the state of CT deciding to do all road improvements during the summer at night. The usual 40 minute ride home from church took another 20 minutes. I had a very full day and I still managed to "do it all" or do most of it all ;-)

I don't understand why me, the one who grew up Roman, who lives ~45 minutes away and worked 9 hours before driving to DL, still made it to church, by herself, and so many other people can't or won't. That's why I feel like crying, that I put in so much and get so little out of it. And yes, I know it's not about me. It's about God and all of that. And I feel like I'm good with that stuff. But if our church dies, because of low numbers, then that's not going to help anyone's relationship with God, and how we serve Him as we worship. Indirectly, it's a mutually beneficial relationship.

Also making me sad: the lack of community aspect in our parish. That the only other young people (around our ages) do not engage with Chris or me. I have a few theories as to why, and I hesitate to say what they are at the risk of being called paranoid. Chris and I go back and forth about this: he thinks that a parish shouldn't be for socialization, but as a woman, I think my viewpoint is skewed because most women crave community, belonging, fellowship, sisterhood, whatever you want to call it. It shouldn't be wrong to want that from where you worship, from the place/events that shape your life. In a perfect world, I'd have a church community not so far away from my home, that I might run into people from church at the grocery store, at the library, at the garden center...and get to know them a little better, more organically than a few minutes as we're walking out of the church door to our cars each week.

*Sigh*

Speaking of Priest's Wife, she is looking for suggestions on how our little Eastern Catholic parishes can survive and thrive. If you have something to add, she's all ears. (Or would it be eyes since this is print?)

Two posts, one day

Just a quick follow up on my recent Pope post, since I got some comments, and I'm not sure who goes back to see if I've commented on THEIR comments! My comments are below in italics.

1. el-e-e

   I was wondering how this would play out in the Eucharistic prayer at our Roman church, too. This was the first weekend with no Pope to pray for in that spot in the Eucharistic prayer.... and then I decided not to go to Mass. So I still don't know! 

   
   

   Hahahaha, now you'll be in suspense for next time! 

   
   
2. Anne @WhateverWorksMom

   During the Eucharistic prayer yesterday I paid special attention. Instead of "With Benedict, Our Pope." They said, "With Benedict, Our Pope Emeritus." 

   
   

   I like that they still included him, since he still needs our prayers.

   
   

So what happened on Sunday at our church? See, in a Byzantine Divine Liturgy, we mention the Pope a few times, so there were multiple times for our priest to forget or get tripped up. The first two times the priest made the transition flawlessly...he just said "for our Metropolitan William, for all the bishops," etc.

Then my husband had to say something. Nice going, Chris. (He's an altar server, if you didn't know.)

Just before the consecration, I see Chris lean into Father and whisper something. Father smiles and nods. Then starts the prayers. During the consecration, he walks away from the altar with the Holy Gifts and in and out of the doors of the iconostasis (icon screen) all the while praying out loud. Followed by Chris, who holds a candle. There is another Pope mention at this time. Father started to say "for our Po-" and then abruptly cut to "for our Metropolitan..."

What I didn't see, but found out later, was that when they got back behind the iconostasis, my husband waggled his finger at Father and gave him a look. Then the two of them were laughing. I'm not horrified or anything, I actually find it funny that they can laugh at themselves while up there. The only reason Father was so flawless with the earlier mentions was because he has his books, with which he follows along. When he went to take the "walk," he was doing it from memory. Even though Chris reminded him. I wonder if Chris' reminder ended up confusing him, and he would have been fine had he not said a word!

Just before dismissal, Father came out to read the announcements, and commented on the lack of a prayer for the Pope, then explaining why we don't say it at this time. So, since I know SO many of you were hanging on to find out what happened, there ya go!

I Can Haz No Pope? Brief (Maybe Funny?) Thoughts...

Silly kitty, you're only Roamin' Catlick, not Roman Catholic!

 
So, we Catholics now have no Pope. But it's not like in the past when we mourned one Pope's death (which may or may not have been expected). This is different, and regardless of the REAL or FAKE reasons His Holiness decided to step down, this leaves all Catholics in a bit of a lurch.

However, some of us Byzantine Catholics are in a bit of a bigger lurch. Those of us in the Eparchy of Passaic, specifically.

At the beginning of the Divine Liturgy, we pray the Litany of Peace, which are prayers said by the priest, to which the congregants reply "Lord, have mercy." See all of it here.
 
The part I'm looking at is this:

For our holy ecumenical pontiff (N) the Pope of Rome let us pray to the Lord

as well as this: 

For our most reverend archbishop and metropolitan (N.,) for our God-loving bishop (N.,) for the venerable priesthood, the diaconate in Christ, and for all the clergy and the people let us pray to the Lord


You already know of one problem. We now have no Pope, so I don't know WHAT the priest will say.

The other problem: we have no Bishop. Ours was elevated to Archbishop and Metropolitan. Our priest has been saying "for all the Bishops" in place of "for our God-loving bishop (N.)" as we await the selection of our new Eparchial leader.

We're going from:

For our holy ecumenical pontiff Benedict the Pope of Rome let us pray to the Lord

and: 

For our most reverend archbishop and metropolitan William, for all the Bishops, for the venerable priesthood, the diaconate in Christ, and for all the clergy and the people let us pray to the Lord

...to who knows? What will this weekend's Divine Liturgies sound like????

ALL WE HAVE IS A METROPOLITAN!!!!!! GOD SAVE THE BYZCATHS!!!!!

Lent is here

Today is the beginning of Lent, for us Byz Caths, as I wrote last week. 

I also happen to be off work today, since it's Presidents' Day, and I'd rather do some things around the house versus sit in front of a computer like I usually do Monday through Friday. I'm happy I already wrote my Lent post. Yay planning ahead!

If you'd like to see what some other bloggers are doing for Lent, check out The Alluring World's link up!

Friday Funny

AHA! This is better!!!! And now, I know how to resize photos.

Lent is coming: East vs. West

Next Monday, actually.

Reminder, we're Byzantine Catholic; our Lent doesn't start on Ash Wednesday. Nor do we "celebrate" Ash Wednesday.

I was looking for a short blurb on the fasting rules that we observe, and I found this article from Catholic Online. It's called "For Byzantine Catholics, Lent is stricter."

Is it, really? Or is it just different? Someone like myself might find it harder, as I didn't grow up observing Lent in this way. But would cradle Byz Caths find it harder? No, not if they've never known anything different.

Why would it be seen as harder?

"Oh no, you guys start on MONDAY!!! That's two more days!!!!" 
Um, so? I think it makes a little more sense to start something big on a Monday, at the beginning of the week, but my very organized mind might be to blame.

"You can't eat any animal products except on the first day OR on Good Friday!"
Ehh, you deal. Besides, when the fasting rules were made, no one gave much thought to all of the junk food that would be invented. Hello chips and salsa. Hummus and crackers. You get my point. Besides, shrimp scampi made with only olive oil instead of oil and butter is still delicious.

"You don't eat meat on Wednesdays and Fridays!!!"
Well, if you're Roman Catholic you aren't supposed to be eating meat on Fridays during Lent either. So what, we have one more day? The majority of people in the world don't eat meat every day. There's a trend going around called Meatless Monday. Is it more because it's forbidden on a certain day and you have to plan around it? Yeah, I can see how that would be a pain. It's annoying when you make something with meat in it on Saturday and you have to make sure the leftovers are either all gone by Sunday night or are the type that can last until Tuesday, because you don't want to waste food.

Side note: when Chris was younger, he and his brother would stay up really late on Fridays. Around 11:45 they would drive to a local Subway and order meaty sandwiches and drive home, just around the time the clock struck 12. It was officially Saturday at that point.

The other big difference is that there is no celebration of the Eucharist during the week. It is only on Sunday. For most people, this wouldn't matter since they only go to church on Sunday.

"What are YOU giving up???"
There isn't so much focus on what you're giving up and honestly, it shouldn't be a focus really no matter what denomination you are; it's more about what sacrifices you'll make for yourself and for others to be a better Christian. As St. Basil the Great said of Lent, "Turning away from all wickedness means keeping our tongue in check, restraining our anger, suppressing evil desires and avoiding all gossip, lying and swearing. To abstain from these things – herein lies the true value of the fast."  I think we could ALL work on those wicked things, year round. ;-)

This Lent, I am going to focus on getting myself even healthier than I have been. This will involve the usual: eating right, exercising, getting plenty of rest, but it will also involve me looking into alternatives for my medical issues. There's no guarantee that I'll be able to find something, but it's worth investigating. There is a spirit of...conversion (if you will) that's been coming on me over the past few months and very recently, I've been getting even stronger messages in the right direction.

How will you participate in Lent?

Follow up to yesterday's post

For all of those wondering besides Jessica, yes, C did get that call yesterday and has an interview tomorrow :)

He's happy to have the opportunity, although he is a bit apprehensive. It seems like there are other internal candidates and the schedule is not so great either. I told him that they could be using the "other candidates" schpiel to keep everyone emotionally detached and not get anyone's hopes up--this is applicable on both sides. The schedule is actually worse than it was when he first started working for this company. Back then, he worked 2 late nights and all day on Saturday, with days off being Sunday and Monday. He finally did get Saturday and Sunday off, but it took awhile and other people had to leave first.

This new position would have THREE late nights, but his days off would be Friday and Saturday. He wouldn't have to be into work until 1 PM on Sunday, so it wouldn't affect church--MUCH*. It's much easier for me to take off a Friday than it was a Monday, so if we wanted to spend more time together that would be easier than previously.

I told C that if he received an offer, that taking the job was up to him--just because they wanted him, didn't mean he had to take it. He could wait it out and keep applying. I felt like I pressured him to take his last job, as it was only his second offer in 16 months. I was getting nervous about not having enough money, what if he never found ANYTHING, etc. That job caused him grief in his first or second week, when he got into two car accidents in as many days. Both weren't his fault, but they seriously made him rethink the job!

C feels a lot of internal pressure to take the job. Mostly because our state just laid off 70% of the division that oversaw C's previous facility, which means an already small job pool would dry up. The other facility is under a different state division, which is much more secure. Working at this facility would be a great stepping stone for him, as he has always wanted to work in this particular division. He'd get more exposure to the policies and procedures, as well as getting to know various staff within the department. Other good things about this job: he'd be at the same company, same upper level management, same good benefits, etc. On the other hand, he'd still have a 25-30 mile commute and the wear and tear on the car would continue. Not to mention gas. There wouldn't be much pay increase, either, but that's non-profit work for you.

There isn't much we can do. All C can do is go to the interview, do his best, see what happens, and pray that it goes well and ask if this is in The Plan for us. All I can do is help him to prepare for the interview (mostly ironing his clothes!), not bother him the morning of the interview (he gets nervous) and also pray that it goes well and ask if this is in The Plan for us. That's it. Of course, we'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers as well! :-)

_______________________

*Our church is 1/2 hour away from our house, and about midpoint between the new job and home. He mentioned to one of the potential bosses that he attends church close by, that it would not be convenient to have to go back and forth, would it be possible to work 11-7 on Sundays instead of 1-9? She didn't see why that would be a problem and could be considered. But that leaves us having to take two cars, since I'd need to get home. We already drive a LOT for work (my commute is about the same as C's), so taking two cars to church seems ridiculous. There's no public transportation to work or church and no carpooling availability. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess. Someone suggested to me last night that I could go to a different church on Sunday, a closer one, but that's not really something I want to do. Byzantines are dying out. I like worshiping as a family, even if I'm in the choir & C's on the altar. I honestly get more out of Liturgy than I did ANY Roman Mass.

I don't like when I don't have control over something that should be easy to remedy. How much should you sacrifice? In other countries, people are persecuted for their religious beliefs. I can go anywhere I want, I could even worship my mailbox if I believed in it as a deity, and I couldn't be arrested or tortured. And yet, here I am, getting huffy because we might have to do things differently to get to church. Should I offer it up as a sacrifice? Do I lower our weekly contribution in that case? I'm already singing in the choir and C is an altar server--both started around the time he got laid off, so I did lower our weekly contribution a bit, only because I believe that contributing to a church isn't just giving your treasure (money). It's also giving your time and talent. I don't think the extra car would make THAT much of a dent in our finances or make our cars die out that much sooner, but it does and will add up. It's the impracticality of it that bothers me the most, I think!

And sadly, no, this parish doesn't offer a Saturday night Liturgy. If it did, that would solve everything! But we are too small to have more than one Liturgy, and the older people would complain because of driving in the dark. This possible situation involving when and where we attend Liturgy just feels like one more punishment or annoyance that Byzantine Catholics deal with in a country that is so Roman-focused or doesn't do church at all. C often jokes that he's had a lot of suffering in his life (losing his mom suddenly and at a young age, the accident/recovery hell, being laid off twice in four years) that religion shouldn't be so hard.

I guess we shall wait and see.

Liturgical changes in this house

Before I begin, I'm really tired of referring to my husband as Turtle. I don't know, it's been bothering me for awhile. I am now going to refer to him by his first initial, which is C. And I will refer to myself as J (my first initial). I'm about to just say our names, because this is getting slightly ridiculous.

Anyway. I think I may have mentioned this before, but C had been approached a few months ago by our priest, Father T, about being an altar server. Those of you familiar with Catholicism might be thinking "isn't he a little...old to be up there?" Another difference between the Roman church and the Byzantine church: any male, between the ages of 7 and 70, may serve on the altar in our church. (I think they can be older than 70, but that's what our priest wrote in the bulletin as a call for servers.) And no girls, either, which used to bother me, but now I get it--women can't be priests, so WHY allow them to be up there in the first place? I think that's a worse situation...to be told "Oh you can be an altar server!!! But that's all, while your co-altar server could be a priest when he grows up." I can't think of a more eloquent way to say it, but it's half-assed, in my opinion.

C had been bothering Father about starting training for awhile, in a nice way, don't worry. Finally, the Saturday after Pentecost, C went up to our church and did a training session. The following day was his first Sunday on the altar. Today was his third week; I'd been meaning to write something...but you know how it is. C is currently serving with a little boy (I) who is 7 or 8. It's really funny to see the two of them up their cassocks and sticharions. (I might have the wrong word for the cassock--Priest's Wife, feel free to correct me! It's a black tunic that the servers wear over their street clothes, and the sticharion goes over that.)

Father T picked a great time to have C start serving. It's been at least 80 degrees by 9 am when Liturgy starts, so he's feeling lovely by the time the service is over. On the altar, there are fans, but they do little to help when you've got fifty candles (if not more) blazing away right near you. ;-)

After his first Liturgy on the altar, Father asked C how he felt, and C said "It's like I was always supposed to be up there, it felt almost like home." I don't know if I've ever mentioned this here, but C is also discerning whether or not he is being called to be a Deacon. That's a huge responsibility, and the church requires you to be married for seven or eight years before you can start your training, so we have time. (Not to mention, we live far from all of the seminaries, so...a lot would have to change.)

You might be wondering what I'm doing, now that my seat mate has gone to a more public location. Oh don't worry...I got roped into the choir. Well, not really, I CHOSE to be in the choir, but I was recruited heavily. It's hard to turn the cantor down when she moved the group from the choir loft into the congregation, just ONE pew up from where you usually sit. How timely! Joining the choir wasn't a huge deal; I always sang the entire Liturgy anyway. Now I just have a "part" instead of singing with the book. There are two other altos, I believer, but one doesn't come every week.

Singing has always been a part of my life. And I had been curious about the choir for some time, but just didn't feel comfortable back when I was originally asked. Now it works. I like having something to do during Liturgy and being more involved. Although it's still a little strange, with everyone else old enough (save one woman) to be my grandparents.

That's the sad part about our church, which I'll write about in another post--everyone is OLD. It's hard to "fit in" but then again, I've never really fit in anywhere, so I should just accept it. :-)


ETA: oh, and I've also changed my design/layout. I wanted something a little brighter, with more space devoted to the actual posts. I didn't like the empty side nonsense.

We weren't always Byzantine Catholic, Part 1

(another series, I guess--I'd been meaning to tell this story for months. I noticed that Elizabeth over at That Married Couple recently started telling her story, too.)

This is the story of how we became Byzantine Catholic. It wasn't as simple as "oh hey, let's go try this church." In fact, one of us was going to a Byzantine church their entire life, but wasn't really Eastern Rite.

When we met, T told me he was Byzantine Catholic, which I'd never heard of. I always thought of myself as pretty knowledgeable about religion and especially Catholicism.

HELLO, I went to a CATHOLIC COLLEGE. I took MANY religion classes. So of course, I was a SCHOLAR. (that's all sarcasm, folks)

Obviously, I hadn't heard about there being other Rites under Rome. I thought T was telling me he was Orthodox. "Oh you're not under the Pope," I remember telling him on the phone once. "No, we are," he said, starting to lose his patience. "But HOW???" I said.

He gave me a VERY elementary explanation: it's like a hybrid of Roman Catholic and Orthodox.

"But you're under the Pope???" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes!" he said.

I started searching around the internet, trying to learn more about this Byzantine thing.

Part 2 to come! Need to head to work :)