Saturday, April 6, 2013

Why I'm not broadcasting things on Facebook anymore

So, I got a job!

I am working part time as a library assistant at the circulation desk at a local public library; I started this week. I actually can't even tell you when I got it, because there was such a weird process surrounding the job offer. Well, not really: first I didn't get the job (although I was told it was very close), then I received a phone call from the library a few days later. Something had changed--someone who had been on leave for awhile had decided not to return, thus there was another opening. They couldn't just  offer it; the public sector works much differently than the private one (and sometimes better), but this meant that they had to check with human resources about whether or not the job could be offered to me, OR if it had to be posted for the public. After a few days of phone calls from the library, I was officially offered the job (and accepted) and scheduled to start my training.

Back to the title of this post: Why I'm not broadcasting things on Facebook anymore.

When I got the job, I didn't want to say anything publicly. First: I would be working IN THE PUBLIC EYE. I didn't want any surprise visitors at work. I can't hide in a cubicle; I'm right there at the main circulation desk in the middle of a public building. Second: there are some unresolved issues with my former job, and I didn't want anyone on my "friends" list to report back. Might be paranoid, might be smart; whatever it is, I need to be safe. Third: if I say anything that's quasi-complaining about work, I don't want anyone to know who might rat me out. I've had that happen years ago, not with Facebook, but a message board. I need to keep things quiet.

I've been hinting on Facebook at the fact that I'm working again, and this morning, a very good friend  mentioned that she must have missed the memo.  I hadn't had many chances to tell all of my friends yet, especially with Easter craziness thrown into the mix. Plus, I'm not one to brag about things, and honestly, a part time job isn't really something to get THAT excited about. At least in my mind.

Then I realized that there was a another reason why I didn't say anything: I don't want people who haven't cared, who haven't reached out to me since I lost my job, to suddenly care about me and be all excited or happy for me. Where were you for the past four months? Maybe people were embarassed that they were still working when I wasn't, maybe they didn't know what to say, maybe we were just work friends...but still: their silence hurt and left me feeling very abandoned. Especially those people with whom I had worked for several years.

Of course, I will reach out to my friend and let her know what's up. She's been a good friend for a long time, and most of the important people in my life know the news by now. This unemployment experience shed light on who really matters in life and who will stick around; I don't want false friends or fake congratulations or a lazy "like" as people scroll through their feed. I'll still share small victories, especially with my weight loss progress, and I'll welcome those likes and comments. Big life events? Oh no, sorry. If you're not someone who will stick by me, you don't get to know everything.

[I've thought ahead to the future, to the someday news of a pregnancy. Nope, not going to do it, no matter HOW excited and happy I am. I've toyed with a few ideas, like waiting until after the child is born and posting a picture with the caption of "look what I did today." That would be so hilarous! Or, just posting some sort of "Dear Baby" comment, such as "Dear Baby, can you please stop making me puke all day? Love Mom," and then let the people guess!]

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