In the past few days, I've seen some posts throughout the blogosphere defending and supporting the SAHM.
Who are these people who are "anti" SAHMs????
Because all I see is a lack of support for women who have to work, or want to work, and have trouble juggling everything. I have trouble juggling everything NOW, and it's just me and C, and the cats. Maybe I'm reading the wrong blogs?
I had a longer post that I wrote yesterday that turned into a rant, and didn't end up posting it, obviously.
It really gets me that SAHMs feel like no one supports them, yet they are the ones (most of the time) who choose to stay home. Many times, WOHMs work out of necessity and are made to feel horrible for not being home. Top that with employers who aren't flexible or understanding, and one can feel pulled in a million directions with nothing to show for it. And for those who actually LOVE their job and want to do both--you'd think they were criminals.
Isn't there a better way?
families have to do what's best for their family - whether that's staying at home or working - and that's all there is to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! I don't think it's always that cut and dry, and I have much more to say. Instead of writing it as a lengthy comment, I'm going to turn it into another post.
ReplyDeleteI can't say for sure why people are writing defensive posts about being a SAHM, but I'm guessing whatever "attacks" they're getting aren't the same kind of attacks that working mothers get, i.e., "You're not doing what's best for your family." It's probably more like, "You're not doing what's best for yourself"--in other words, assuming that SAHMs would rather be working and "fulfilling their potential" or some such thing than being at home with their children. That sort of thing I have heard before, and I can see how that would make a SAHM defensive if she's perfectly happy doing what she's doing.
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt that Mike will encounter his share of attacks being a SAHD--people already think he's "wasting" his education because he's not working in the specific field his master's degree is in, so imagine how much more they'll think he's "fallen" when he's "just" a father.
Sorry for all the sarcastic quotes--people say really stupid things :)
Thanks for your comment as well! And no worries on the sarcastic quotes :) It's hard to type how we want something to sound.
ReplyDeletePart of my next post is going to get into this deeper, but I guess what I have an issue with is that many people who are in favor of a SAHP often have an air of "ohhhh, we sacrifice SOOOO hard, and you, you working parents, don't know what it's like." And they throw in all of this religious stuff. Which makes me feel like a bad person before I even get pregnant AND a bad Catholic/Christian. (just from what I've personally seen and read--could be generalizing here!)
Not all families with two working parents are doing it so that they can live high on the hog. I mean, we don't have kids and I don't think we're living extravagant lifestyles. Just as an example: We've been married for 4 years and haven't gone away (not even an overnight!) since our first anniversary, which was a long weekend to Philly. C says it's because I'm cheap and afraid to take off time from work. He's partly right, but you know, after two layoffs, I just get nervous about extra money being spent.
Another thing that I'll talk more about is a lack of working mom role models.