My worst fears (at work) came true

My boss gave her notice this morning.

I cried on and off all day since the meeting. I couldn't help it. I really liked her. Not only was she an awesome boss, she was one of the nicest people I've ever met. I never had a boss like this...someone who actually cared, listened, tried to help her "people." She's been an actual friend.

I'm absolutely devastated. This is the closest thing I've had to as a mentor. And she'll be gone 12/31.

I know we'll keep in touch, but you know how that works out after awhile. We had a 1:1 later on this afternoon, and she gave me some really good compliments on my work, work ethic, etc. She also told me that it's time for me to go, and take that plunge to find something that will make me happier. She also told me that she'd be happy to be a reference, write recommendations, etc. etc.

I've gotta admit, I am jealous that she's leaving after only 1.25 yrs, and I'm STILL there (going on 4.5 yrs)...and any efforts of me trying to leave haven't been successful (or I just haven't tried hard enough, I guess). She really helped to boost my confidence about working there, because she actually CARED about what I did.

Of course, I'm scared about what will happen now that she's leaving...until I can get out of there. They'll be hiring a new marketing manager, but until then, it's a messy mix between the wife-owner (my company is owned by a married couple--and she is CRAZY and just horrible) and the IT MANAGER, which makes VERY little sense.

I've never written about work before, but today I had to. I know I need to get out of there, the place is just TOXIC, but where, doing what, etc?

This is when I want to give up and be a housewife...but I can't.

PS. I know I have some comments that need replying. I'll get to them soon, I promise. Tonight I'm just sad...going to go scrub a toilet to put my energy into something constructive.