Before I begin, let me say this--yes, I know I'm lucky to have a job, one that helps take care of our needs, provides health insurance, etc. While I get mad and upset with work stuff a lot, I really try to remember what our lives were like from March 2008 until August 2009, when Turtle was laid off. Even so, sometimes, you need to get it all out.
I've alluded to me being upset about something, I believe it was last week. It's my job, which some of you may have guessed. I've been there just over 4.5 years, even though I knew it wasn't a place I wanted to work at forever. But life is funny like that and here I am, still. When I started, I was told that the work week was 40-45 hours. Fine. I rarely worked over 40 for the first few years, and over the last year or so I've worked a bit more, but never exceeding 42 hours in a week and never EVERY week. When I've had more work, I've put in more time, when I've had less work, I've left when my "clock" hit 40 hours.
Not anymore. Now we are required to put in AT LEAST 42.5 hours in a week. (Interestingly enough, this has only been verbally announced; nothing has been put in writing.) I am not happy about this. That is 2.5 hours from my personal time that has been added to my work time. And no added benefit, oh, the joys of being a salaried employee. I had a plan in motion--one for my health and sanity, and now I feel as if the rug has been pulled out from me. All because they want to squeeze more work out of the employees they have.
My plan WAS to get up earlier, work out, prep my meals ahead of time, to really focus on getting healthy. It's derailed now. Not completely--that's a little dramatic of me. I have to reexamine things yet again and figure out how to work around another missing 2.5 hours of my life. It's just annoying to me that our lives have to be so dictated by an outside force like this. Spring is almost here, the days are longer, soon there will be outside work to be done around the house. Now my work day is longer and I won't have as much free time to do things. I'm already tired at the end of the day, due to a lot of frustration and a lack of communication that has emerged with the hiring of my new boss. I have projects which are unfinished, including the half bath that I started a month ago. (Other things got in the way, not just work, but still.) The house is consistently either dirty or messy. I still don't feel fully set up and we've lived here well over a year now. I hate how I'm either at work or tired from being at work. This is not my calling. Also, it's not like I'm a doctor or a lawyer, or some well-paid business person, where I can afford to pay people to take care of things for me. My husband is NOT happy with this work change, but what can we do?
I have another plan in addition to my first one. It's called the "find a new job" plan, which is easier said than done. I was on a roll for a bit when my old boss left, but I need to pick that back up. I got a little off track after a crushing rejection. I'm tired of being taken advantage of, and being overlooked for promotions. Tired of "putting up" and "shutting up" because I HAVE to work. I have been afraid to speak out or speak up for fear that I would lose my job. I've never been trapped, but I guess that's what it would feel like. To feel as if you have NO options, no rights, no way out. I do have a way out...but this is one that I will have to work hard for and wait for. It might take awhile, but at least I'll feel better if I'm moving TOWARDS something positive--both personally (health stuff) and professionally (new job)--instead of sitting around, stewing in my own anger.
Because we all know what happens when you stew. You turn into one of these.
Not so attractive to employers! (Nor husbands!)